Man's Best Friend Should Be Less Work

the best dog in the world

Mr. C wants a dog.  I do not.  This is an odd thing for me, because I used to consider myself a dog person.  I had a fantastic dog growing up, and I always assumed I'd get a dog for my own as soon as I graduated from college.  Instead I got ferrets.


If you know Bee, you can imagine the horror he felt upon learning that his new girlfriend owned stinky, un-potty-trained rodents.  Four, to be exact.  It is a great testament to his extreme love for me that he still invited me to move in with him, bringing said ferrets along.  Actually, by that time, only one ferret was still in existence, the others having died or disappeared -- surprisingly, without Bee's assistance.

Bee and S.B. had 2 cats when I moved in with them.  Those are now our only two pets.  Well, the 2 cats . . . plus the 5 chickens and the 60,000 bees.  I like this, because I Am Lazy, and I like not having an animal to walk or throw a ball to or basically interact with outside the realm of petting them as we both recline on the couch.  Honestly, those stupid chickens are enough work; we can't go out of town overnight without a pet sitter, as their 7 a.m. crowing makes it impossible -- good neighbor-wise -- to leave them locked in their coop all day.

I may be able to talk Mr. C into mice instead of a dog.  Mostly because I think it would be hilarious to watch them running around on their little wheel.  Of course, you can't really interact with them that much . . . or maybe you could, but you'd have to make sure they don't get loose and start running around the house.  Imagine how much that would freak out Bee.

I found this lovely cage, in all it's manufactured plastic glory, at the thrift store ($11.25, with my coupon!).  I bought it, telling Mr. C maybe we'd get mice for Christmas.

Mr. C, naturally, dropped the cage before we'd gotten out of the store.  But -- hey! -- it didn't break.  (At least, not until I got it home and was moving one of the tubes.)

The point is, I think I got him placated with the idea of a couple of boring mice.

Then, last month, one of my Meals On Wheels participants threw a wrench in my calm.  He has a little yappy dog (I hate yappy dogs) that Mr. C loves to throw a ball to every time we drop off food.  So the dog's owner told me he was going to turn the dog into the Humane Society because it was too energetic for him, and he thought I should take the dog so Mr. C would have someone to play with.

I.  Do.  Not.  Want.  A.  Dog.

But the thought of this little bundle of energy languishing in a kennel kills me.  So I've spent the last month trying to picture this dog in our life.  Trying to justify it.  It's put a serious cramp in my sense of nirvana!

Talking to Bee about it, though, I know it wouldn't be a good thing to do.  Bee's very sensitive to smell, and he hates pet hair floating around.  He also doesn't like little animals jumping up on him.  He's been so stressed lately, it would be unfair to add this extra thing to his plate.  So, I guess we won't be getting a dog, and I can only hope the Meals On Wheels guy works it out and keeps his pet.

So that's that.

But, before I leave, I did want to pass along a forwarded e-mail I got.  Perhaps you can find it in your heart to help out:

I need a favor!!

My neighbor has a puppy he's giving away (FREE!).
It's a Dachshund, it's housebroken, and it's great with kids.

He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing, and that gives her the 'Heebie Jeebies'.  I think she is just weird !

If you're interested, or know someone who is, let me know.

Here's a picture of the dog.