Hell Hath No Fury Like A Toddler In A Carseat

Mr. C and I just returned from visiting my parents, who live a seven-hour car-ride away.  I have to say, Mr. C did wonderfully for the long car ride.  So, for all of you parents of toddlers out there who are contemplating a long trip with your cherub, I thought I'd pass along some tips that worked for me, as well as some I've heard from other parents.



1)  Yes, it may be true that you detest Raffie / The Wiggles / Marie Osmond and Friends / etc. to such an extent that you keep a a 'special' case of eggs in the trunk of your car in preparation of the happy day you find out where they live; however, listening AGAIN to your child's inexplicably favorite cd by the afore-mentioned irritants is still better than 60 minutes of listening to your toddler screaming in the back seat. 

But only barely better. 

But, hey: that's why God created Heavy Metal and iPods.

2)  Don't be afraid to hand out the junk food like it's Mardi Gras.  Now is not the time to ration any food that will shut your darling up for a few more minutes.  Two subsequent days of diarreah is a small price to pay for seven blissful hours of no sound but that of chewing! 

3)  On a similar note: may I suggest placing each food item in a different box, bag, etc?  Not only will that make each little treat seem more like a lovely present, but it will take your child longer to open and devour each item.  Remember your motto: Every 20 Seconds Counts!

4)  Yes, TV may be the devil, but long trips with a child are hell.  Therefore, there has never been a better time to plug your baby into a portable DVD player.
 
Should you find that your portable player has broken halfway through your journey, don't feel embarrassed when you, say, find yourself speeding into a tiny town, hopping from the car (screaming toddler in tow) and rushing from store to store demanding to know where you can buy a new player.  And don't feel bad if you spend a lot more than you normally would on a new player because the only store in said town to sell said player is Mortimer's Drug Store, and the only player that bastard Mortimer sells costs $130.  $130 is WORTH IT to stop the crying for 88 minutes.  Yours, I mean.

As a for instance.

5)  NyQuil is your friend!  One to two teaspoons will knock your darling out long enough for you to regain your fragile composure.  At least, that's what I've heard.

6)  Now is the time to drag out all those obnoxious, battery-operated toys your child hasn't seen since Christmas because they mysteriously migrated to the top shelf of the basement closet.

7)  There's a reason they call them 'Rest Stops'.  Yes, I know you're 'in the zone' and don't want to stop the car every hour, but a ten minute break out of her carseat may be just what your baby needs to get that NyQuil pumping through her bloodstream!

Think there's nothing for kids at these roadside rest stops?  Think again!  How about a parking lot game of 'Dodge The Semi-Trucks'?  Or a 'Dinosaur Dig' through the trashcan for old fried chicken bones?  Or just a few minutes of free play in one of the attractive port-a-potties?  With just a little imagination, highway rest stops can become a fun and economical alternative to DisneyLand!


Well, I hope you've found a few suggestions here that will help you and your little angel on your next major expedition.  I'd love to know what worked!  Remember, hate mail can be sent to toxic_housewife@yahoo.com!