Potty Mouth
Mr. C is in the midst of potty training, which is a very exciting time . . . mostly for Bee and me. We spend our days fawning over the training toilet, speaking about it in happy, excited voices, exclaiming how fun it is to go pee-pee in the potty. Mr. C, for his part, gamely tries; but I suspect he thinks we're nuts.
There is much potential for social danger when one is teaching one's child about the wonders of the porcelain throne. I'm not talking about the awkward situations the toddler may cause, such as accidents in the changing room at the pool or tendencies to happily shout "I poop today!" in the middle of the grocery store. No, the social danger actually comes from said toddler's parents, who get so wrapped up in celebrating Potty Training Milestones that they may forget that not everyone is as excited about it as they.
I find I have to work very, very hard at keeping quiet. Take, for instance, Mr. C's major accomplishment a few weeks ago. He pooped in his potty for the first time ever. And it wasn't just some weakling's poop: it was as if two truckers had used his little plastic facility after All-You-Can-Eat Steak Sandwich Day.
I was so shocked at this prize, I had to carry the bowl outside to Bee so he could see it. "Have you ever seen such plentiful, healthy poop?" I asked.
"Maybe we should take a picture," Bee said in awe.
Luckily, we managed to stop ourselves before doing so. I mean, what were we planning on doing with the picture: carry it in our wallets and send it as our holiday card?
The proof of Mr. C's major accomplishment has long been flushed away, but that hasn't stopped me from wanting to share the event with others. Thus far, I've managed to limit my boasting to just my parents or the parents of other two-year-olds. I've really had to concentrate, though.
And now I've undone all that, because I've posted this on the Internet.
I will never learn.
There is much potential for social danger when one is teaching one's child about the wonders of the porcelain throne. I'm not talking about the awkward situations the toddler may cause, such as accidents in the changing room at the pool or tendencies to happily shout "I poop today!" in the middle of the grocery store. No, the social danger actually comes from said toddler's parents, who get so wrapped up in celebrating Potty Training Milestones that they may forget that not everyone is as excited about it as they.
I find I have to work very, very hard at keeping quiet. Take, for instance, Mr. C's major accomplishment a few weeks ago. He pooped in his potty for the first time ever. And it wasn't just some weakling's poop: it was as if two truckers had used his little plastic facility after All-You-Can-Eat Steak Sandwich Day.
I was so shocked at this prize, I had to carry the bowl outside to Bee so he could see it. "Have you ever seen such plentiful, healthy poop?" I asked.
"Maybe we should take a picture," Bee said in awe.
Luckily, we managed to stop ourselves before doing so. I mean, what were we planning on doing with the picture: carry it in our wallets and send it as our holiday card?
The proof of Mr. C's major accomplishment has long been flushed away, but that hasn't stopped me from wanting to share the event with others. Thus far, I've managed to limit my boasting to just my parents or the parents of other two-year-olds. I've really had to concentrate, though.
And now I've undone all that, because I've posted this on the Internet.
I will never learn.
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