Hi! I Have OCD! Hi! I Have OCD! Hi! I Have OCD!
I think my attempts to properly teach Mr. C the English language have backfired.
One of my college majors was in Elementary Education, where we learned that one of the most effective ways to teach a child proper English was simply to repeat their misspoken phrase back to them, but correctly. At least, I think that's what we learned. The point is that it subtly cues the child that they've made a mistake, and lets them know the proper use of the word or phrase. So, if a student says "I hears the school bell," you should reiterate, "You hear the school bell, huh?"; and if a child says "I goes to the park yesterday," you respond, "You went to the park? What did you do there?"; and if he says, "I punches Bobby," you should -- with interest and excitement -- respond, "Oh, did you punch Bobby?"
I also learned from Education coursework, animal training sessions, and parenting books that -- when it comes to kids and animals -- you should try to 'catch them being good': so respond to them when they're doing something right. Speaking of which, try this fun social observation the next time you need entertainment at a boring cocktail party: watch a young child try to get the attention of its parent when said parent is in the midst of a fascinating conversation with the local gossip, who is whispering about what happened when the husband down the street came home unexpectedly early on Tuesday to find he couldn't park in his garage because the van belonging to Raoul, the Brazilian pool boy, was blocking it; which was odd, because Raoul wasn't scheduled to clean the pool until Friday . . .
Watch the child of this engrossed parent as it attempts to get its parent's attention. The child may start out with a quiet "Mom? Mommy?", then, upon being ignored, switch to a slightly louder, "Mom? HEY, Mom!", and, pretty soon, change tactics to a loudly barked "MOM! MOMMY! MMMMOOMMMM!" It's fun to time how long this takes. Once the child's calls have reached a certain, ear-shattering decibel level, its parent will automatically break off conversation to yell at the child for yelling. And what has the child learned from this? That the only way to get attention is to yell. And we wonder why our kids act out.
As a result of everything I learned about children before having one of my own, I've been very aware of trying to employ certain methods with Mr. C. So, since he began talking, I find that I tend to repeat anything he says. I figure this serves a triple purpose: correcting bad grammar, letting him know I hear him before he has to yell, and translating his often-unclear statements for the sake of others. So, Mr. C is now used to hearing double whenever he comments on anything.
I thought I was being brilliant for so promptly responding to Mr. C. The problem is that now he seems to feel he is incomplete unless he's been acknowledged for each and every thing he says. I mean, everything. For instance, when we're driving through a neighborhood and he sees an open garage door (which, for some unknown reason, is absolutely fascinating to him), he feels the need to point out "De garage doh is open." And if I don't respond, he'll say "De garage doh is open, Mommy." Pause. "Is de garage doh open?" "De garage doh is open! It's open! De doh is open, Mommy!" He will go on and on until I finally scream, "Yes! You're right! The garage door is open! What a fantastic observation! You're such a frickin' smart boy!!"
Sometimes, for fun, I'll ignore him on purpose, then count how many ways he'll rephrase a comment and how many times he'll repeat it while he waits for me to acknowledge him. I think the highest count I ever got to was about eight; but by that time he was in such hysterics about "De kitty is sleeping. It's sleeping. De kitty sleeps, Mommy!" that it just wasn't funny anymore.
So, for now, I am stuck repeating everything he says, or -- if not done in a timely fashion -- must suffer the consequences and spend this next ten minutes talking him down off the ledge.
One of my college majors was in Elementary Education, where we learned that one of the most effective ways to teach a child proper English was simply to repeat their misspoken phrase back to them, but correctly. At least, I think that's what we learned. The point is that it subtly cues the child that they've made a mistake, and lets them know the proper use of the word or phrase. So, if a student says "I hears the school bell," you should reiterate, "You hear the school bell, huh?"; and if a child says "I goes to the park yesterday," you respond, "You went to the park? What did you do there?"; and if he says, "I punches Bobby," you should -- with interest and excitement -- respond, "Oh, did you punch Bobby?"
I also learned from Education coursework, animal training sessions, and parenting books that -- when it comes to kids and animals -- you should try to 'catch them being good': so respond to them when they're doing something right. Speaking of which, try this fun social observation the next time you need entertainment at a boring cocktail party: watch a young child try to get the attention of its parent when said parent is in the midst of a fascinating conversation with the local gossip, who is whispering about what happened when the husband down the street came home unexpectedly early on Tuesday to find he couldn't park in his garage because the van belonging to Raoul, the Brazilian pool boy, was blocking it; which was odd, because Raoul wasn't scheduled to clean the pool until Friday . . .
Watch the child of this engrossed parent as it attempts to get its parent's attention. The child may start out with a quiet "Mom? Mommy?", then, upon being ignored, switch to a slightly louder, "Mom? HEY, Mom!", and, pretty soon, change tactics to a loudly barked "MOM! MOMMY! MMMMOOMMMM!" It's fun to time how long this takes. Once the child's calls have reached a certain, ear-shattering decibel level, its parent will automatically break off conversation to yell at the child for yelling. And what has the child learned from this? That the only way to get attention is to yell. And we wonder why our kids act out.
As a result of everything I learned about children before having one of my own, I've been very aware of trying to employ certain methods with Mr. C. So, since he began talking, I find that I tend to repeat anything he says. I figure this serves a triple purpose: correcting bad grammar, letting him know I hear him before he has to yell, and translating his often-unclear statements for the sake of others. So, Mr. C is now used to hearing double whenever he comments on anything.
I thought I was being brilliant for so promptly responding to Mr. C. The problem is that now he seems to feel he is incomplete unless he's been acknowledged for each and every thing he says. I mean, everything. For instance, when we're driving through a neighborhood and he sees an open garage door (which, for some unknown reason, is absolutely fascinating to him), he feels the need to point out "De garage doh is open." And if I don't respond, he'll say "De garage doh is open, Mommy." Pause. "Is de garage doh open?" "De garage doh is open! It's open! De doh is open, Mommy!" He will go on and on until I finally scream, "Yes! You're right! The garage door is open! What a fantastic observation! You're such a frickin' smart boy!!"
Sometimes, for fun, I'll ignore him on purpose, then count how many ways he'll rephrase a comment and how many times he'll repeat it while he waits for me to acknowledge him. I think the highest count I ever got to was about eight; but by that time he was in such hysterics about "De kitty is sleeping. It's sleeping. De kitty sleeps, Mommy!" that it just wasn't funny anymore.
So, for now, I am stuck repeating everything he says, or -- if not done in a timely fashion -- must suffer the consequences and spend this next ten minutes talking him down off the ledge.
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