So, How Did It Go?

Alright, here's a recap of the 'knight' birthday party:

• It was over 100 degrees that day, which means that most of the kids weren't at all interested in wearing the felt tunics my sister and I had laboriously hacked and glued together.  But I went into it figuring there would be a lot of kids who wouldn't wear them, so I didn't cry.  Much.

• I'd spent a bit of time making balloon swords, which all popped as soon as they were touched.  (No shock there.)

• Hardly anyone played in the Ghetto Castle, which was sort of a bummer.  Perhaps if I'd spent the money to make it a Cute Castle, the story would have been different.

(note the cute "drawbridge" one of Bee's brothers made)

• The kids seemed to enjoy making their wooden 'shields' on the back sides of the chalkboards I'd made. 

• I thought the pavilion was kind of cute.  I kept it simple: just pushed two canopies together and draped them with some old curtains I'd kept (score!) and then pushed two tables together, banquet-style, and draped it with the roll of upholstery fabric I'd found for $10 at the thrift store.  That fabric is still my favorite knight-party-purchase, just because it is such quality stuff and there was so much of it; I actually had to fold it in half to keep it from dragging off the two tables.  (I'd considered cutting it and using half elsewhere, but I didn't since I'd still like to see if I can sell the whole thing on craigslist to recoup some of my losses.)

the pavilion

table fabric

• Because I'd spent 75 cents at the thrift store on a wizards hat, I HAD to (had to) use it.  So I draped a ladder with an old sheet to make it look sort of like a wizard's body . . . albeit a wizard with boobs.  I was going to paint stars on the cloth or rig up a crystal ball or something for the wizard to hold, but laziness won out.  Still, I thought the kids had a modicum of fun getting their pictures taken:

• S.B. created a catapult and a crossbow, and the kids got to shoot each:

water balloon bombs

bamboo skewer arrows

• And they went on a "quest" that included shooting the catapult, crawling through a tunnel, hitting a bucket with a sword, and popping dragon eggs (balloons).  After their quest, each child was "knighted" in a most-complex ceremony consisting of their parent tapping their shoulder with a wooden sword and pronouncing them "Sir So-and-so".

• We kept cool by having a mister nozzle running from our hose, dragging the shop's fan over to the pavilion area (I graciously ignored what the glaring orange extension cord strewn across the grass did to my medieval feng-shui), and setting up a plastic wading pool for the kids to hop into, if desired (again, I let go of my need for medieval accuracy on that count).

• Bee and one of his brothers cooked up hot dogs, corn dogs, and potato salad.

• My dragon cake turned out sufficiently-dragony, though no semi-professional cake-decorator would be impressed.  The dry ice smoking effect was kind of cute (once I got it going), but not very noticeable . . .

• The most fun we had, though, was throwing the rest of the dry ice into the wading pool at the end, and watching the water bubble and the smoke roll:

(a not-so-bad use of $5)

• However, I kind of felt the party dragged a bit: I had tried to be relaxed about the activities, so had planned to have the kids make their shields and play in the Ghetto Castle between 4:30-5 as everyone filtered in and Bee cooked the hot dogs.  Then we'd eat until about 5:30, play the games until 6, then have cake and open presents and be done by 6:30.  As it was, kids were still filtering in after 5, the Ghetto Castle went pretty much unused so people were just kind of wandering, and the hot dogs took longer to cook than Bee expected, so we didn't even sit down to eat until closer to 5:30.  Then, after games, we had to take another break while some of us ran inside to wash dishes (I have such nice guests!) for the cake (note to self: if you're going to continue to be more "green" at parties, it's time to invest in another stack of reusable plates).  So, the party wasn't over until about 7.  I didn't mind, but I just worried that my guests were sick of it all by then.

• I was lucky that Bee's two brothers and two nephews were in town: they were so great about helping me set up, man stations for the "quest", and clean up after the party. 
• On a side note: I felt particularly bad that their visit overlapped the party, since the first time I met them was during my wedding planning, when I was not in my best form.
• Although, honestly, I like to think I was a fairly laid-back bride, all things considered . . . but no one who was there will actually tell me that I wasn't Bridezilla, and I'm afraid to ask. 
• So I don't know if my Bridezilla-ness has bubbled over into Mr. C's birthday parties, too.
• I mean, if you believe everything I blog, you'd say it probably has. 
• Also, if you believed me when I screeched, "I don't want a wading pool there: it doesn't fit in with the THEME!", you'd say it certainly has. 
• Furthermore, if you'd said during set-up"Oh, this party has a theme?" and then believed me when I screamed, "Don't joke with me on Party Day!", you'd say it definitely has.

But I digress.

My biggest problem with the party is just not knowing how it was perceived, and feeling like it would be rude to ask.  I've already talked about not knowing when a party theme turns from cute to obnoxious, and my fear was that it was the latter.  Which is why I worked so hard to keep it low-key, in my own twisted way:

• I mean, I might have built a castle . . . but it was ghetto, cost me nothing but time, and wasn't JUST for the party (I built it for Mr. C to enjoy a full THREE DAYS before Party Day).
• Yeah, I made tunics . . . but only because my sister helped and I got all the material at the thrift store for a whopping $3.
• All-in-all, I think I spent about $40 on the party.  So that's laid-back, right???

So is it better to spend huge amounts of time but little amounts of money, or is it better to rent a jump house for $200 and buy a cake at Walmart?  I'm not saying it shows you care any less, as a friend of mine worried, to do the latter; I think the kids are happy either way.  Which means it's up to the party-planner to decide how to invest in the party.

And, in the end, I felt like a bit of a failure in how I invested in my party.  Had it been nothing but fun-fun-fun to plan and execute, I wouldn't have cared: but I was worrying so much about being judged the whole time. 

As we talked about the party yesterday with my friend Gwen, Bee decided that the reason he'd said he "wasn't comfortable" (see two posts ago) was because he felt like he was failing as a father in some way by not being drawn to provide this huge elaborate party for his kid.  And Gwen, when pushed, said that she liked the party, but felt intimidated.

As much as I joke that I want the other mothers to fear me, I'm really full of shit about that. I want the other parents to be comfortable with the party and to think I'm fun and cool, sure; and I'm just not sure that's what's happening.

Which means that I think it's time I hang up my theme-party-planning hat.  This makes me a little sad, since I only got to plan the Bug Party and the Knight Party (well, and I guess a few Halloween parties, too).  I need to step back and remind myself of the priorities of a kid's party before I try to host another one. 

And -- who knows? -- if I get those priorities figured out, I'm sure there's a way to have a party with a theme that stays fun and never gets cloying. 

Which would be good.

Because six is the perfect age for a "pirate" party . . . .