When Being Good Is Bad

I'm starting to set a dangerous precedent with all my awesomeness.


Above is a picture of my Escarole Salad with Lemon Spatchcocked Chicken, lardons of bacon, and poached eggs, tossed in a lemon vinaigrette.  All of which is just a fancy way of saying that My Personal Deity told me how to make a chef's salad.  However, since Martha is Awesome, the recipe actually worked (unlike some other cooking sources), which made me look awesome, too.  Particularly since I served the salad with homemade French bread (I'd partially-cooked several loaves, then froze them; now I can take out a loaf and bake it fresh in the toaster oven whenever I need tasty carbohydrates).

So, add those recipes to my repertoire, which -- lest you forget -- also includes pies, jellies, pickles, canned peaches, chicken pot pie, turkey soup with dumplings, lasagna,  pettifuiate, and -- of course -- cookies and cakes.  I'm actually getting good at this cooking thing, and that's bad.  It was so much nicer when we just expected me to screw up; life is less-stressful when the bar is set so low.

To top it all off, look what I did now:

That's right.  I made Pad Thai.  A cultural dish.  Now Bee thinks I am capable of making all sorts of exotic fare. 

What was I thinking?

Pad Thai -- as it turns out -- is incredibly easy to make.  Since Bee and I love it, this will save us a lot of money at restaurants.  However -- since Bee and I love it -- we've already started eating it in quantities much larger than is wise for our asses.

Still, I am happy to share the recipe with you now:

soaked noodles

1) Soak about 1/2 a package of rice noodles for ~3 hours.  They will never be completely soft, but you'll fix that later.

2) Fry 1-2 minced cloves of garlic, probably on medium heat.  (For the sake of future steps, I'd recommend using a large non-stick frying pan.)

3) Add whatever leftover meat you have in the fridge.  We have a lot of pork, since we ordered half a pig this year.  However, we've also used leftover Thanksgiving turkey, and I know shrimp and (gulp!) tofu are popular choices.  Also add an egg or two and scramble everything up.

4) Now add the drained noodles.  Having already told you to drain the noodles, I should NOW tell you that you were supposed to save about 1/2 cup of the noodle water so you can add some or all of it back to the frying pan now.  This keeps the mixture moist while the noodles finish cooking.  Toss everything a bit with some tongs, which will make you feel very professional.

5)  I cover the sloppy mix and turn up the heat to get the noodles steaming and get rid of most of that water you added back in.  You'll have to experiment with how dry you like your Pad Thai; I only cover my pan for a minute or two and make sure my mix still seems a little wet when I'm done.

(see how the mix still looks a little wet?  You can cook it longer if you want it drier)

6)  Add about 1/4 cup fish sauce (which smells awful but tastes gooood) (and can be found in most grocery stores); 1/4 cup sugar; and 1 Tablespoon of paprika.  Keep the pan uncovered and toss everything around for a minute or two (you may want to turn the heat down a little again).

7)  If you like, add in some chopped green onions, bean sprouts, or old cooked corn/carrots/other veggie you found in the back of your fridge.  Also add some chopped peanuts.  If desired (and -- believe me -- you desire), squeeze a fresh lime over the top (or just sprinkle with the bottle of lime juice you have for making Key Lime Martinis).

8)  Lastly, serve with additional chopped peanuts and a pair of chopsticks.  You'll be wanting the chopsticks just because they make you eat slower.

Because, when it comes to comfort food and your waistline, having to eat slower is always a wise thing.