Christmas In The Ghet-TO!

"Pooping" reindeer: more classy crap I'm SO THANKFUL friends gave Mr. C

OK, I'll admit it: I was a little disgusted this year when my local "lite music" radio station started their annual "holiday songs 24/7" tradition . . . on November 1.  I mean, I like Christmas music just as much as the next guy (assuming the next guy isn't "Bah Humbug" Bee), but this seemed like a little bit of an overkill to me.


I'm probably getting crotchety in my old age, but I sort of think starting the holiday music just after Halloween "cheapens" the holidays.  Which is amusing, since I am not good about celebrating Jesus As The Reason For The Season, and am perfectly willing to just consider Christmas as a time of good cheer.  So you'd think I'd be all into getting the music on so I can get in the mood to buy things (for others, of course).

Yes, you'd think I'd be all into our God-given American right to All Things Consumeristic (Yeah.  I made that up).  I certainly used to be.  But I'm finding over the years that I buy less crap.  This is partly because I'm trying to be more environmentally-friendly.  But I think it's mostly because (lest you forgot) I Am Lazy, and more crap just means more crap to dust or put away or just deal with in general.

I also think I've started to get overwhelmed by Stuff, and then don't enjoy the things I have: what I really like is buried under the things I don't really care about, so I don't even see the good things when I come upon them.

Of course, my own personal deity -- Martha Stewart -- has been preaching this for years (gently, and with impeccable grammar, from her Georgica Mist [Martha Stewart Paint #8000] cashmere cloud, floating within a sky of Ceylon Blue [Martha Stewart Paint #8292]).  Invest in quality items, she reminds us, and they will last longer and give more satisfaction.

Oh, Martha; please forgive me for being a greedy miser!  I want those things; I really do!  I'm just too cheap to actually loosen my purse strings enough to get them.  I!  Am!  Weak!

But I try, in whatever ways I can.

At least, when it's convenient and I don't have to get off my lazy ass to do it.

This is why I am now going to give a Christmas gift to each and every one of you.  I have spent hours listening to a lot of crap Christmas music (Michael Bolton, anyone?) to find those select nuggets of truly inspiring holiday songs.  This was made particularly hard by the fact that I didn't know who sang half the songs, so I then had to spend hours on iTunes picking through all the versions of "Sleigh Ride" until I found the one that I'd heard on the radio three days before.  Luckily, I had a lot of time to do this, since I wasn't too busy the day after Halloween.

My list of Awesome Christmas Music is my gift to you.  You're welcome!  Now all you have to do is order up these particular songs, sit back with a cup of cocoa, and enjoy a Quality Holiday Listening Experience.

Here they are (or, at least, here are the top 22 I had space for on my cd):

The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Vince Vance and the Valiants
White Christmas - The Drifters
Sleigh Ride - Leroy Anderson
O Holy Night - Martina McBride
Christmas / Sarajevo 12/24 - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Please Come Home For Christmas - Darlene Love
Jingle Bell Rock - Bobby Helms
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Johnny Mercer and Margaret Whiting
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - The Carpenters
The Little Drummer Boy - Harry Simone Chorale
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - The Ronettes
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year - Andy Williams
Run Rudolph Run - Chuck Berry
This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
Winter Wonderland - Darlene Love
A Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives

I particularly like the diversity of music styles in this group.

Now, some of you may disagree with my song choices.  Many, for instance, will be shocked at the lack of Bing Crosby in my sampling.  However, seeing as how the holidays are a time of acceptance and goodwill toward your fellow man, I sincerely hope everyone can be open to my extreme hatred of that over-dramatic, fake crooner.

You'll note, as well, that I left off the "novelty holiday songs".  This is not because I dislike them, but simply because I was striving for Dignity and Quality with this particular selection.  So, I suppose, "Grandma Got Run Over By  A Reindeer" and "The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas" will have to wait for another CD (my "I'm Dreaming Of A White Trash Christmas" compilation.)

Still, in the spirit of the season, I am willing to acknowledge that my favorites may not be your favorites.  Which is why I created the poll at the right of this post, which allows you to vote on your favorite Christmas song . . . weaned from the list of my favorite Christmas songs.  So, go for it!  These songs only get played incessantly from November 1 until December 25th: they need to know that you love them!

Actually, I have one more gift for you: a stirring performance of one of my favorite Christmas songs.

 Now, if you don't at some random point today find yourself passionately belting out "in the ghet-TO!", trust me: there is something wrong with you.


December 25 - Poll Update: The winner, with 50% of the votes: Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song"!