Scalped!

I love the idea of long hair . . . just mostly on other people.  I have always lusted after men with long hair, which makes it particularly ironic that Bee is slowly balding (but in a sexy way, Honey!).


I've grown out my hair a few times in my life, but I've come to realize -- due mostly to my lack of knowledge of styling products and even more mostly to my inherent laziness -- that I just can't maintain long hair in a way that is attractive.

Bee disagrees: he's been thrilled that I haven't chopped my hair off in a few years, and keeps telling me how good I look with longer locks; despite the fact that I've almost always kept my hair up when it's long.  But, as previously mentioned in "Does This Show Make My Butt Look Big?", I'm not sure I ought to be taking fashion advice from him, a man who walked out of our house this evening looking somewhat like a gnome.

Anyway, I finally had enough of my long hair, and chopped it off this last week.  Bee spent the rest of the day (and much of the next) in mourning.

Now I have a ponytail of chopped hair sitting on top of our microwave, waiting to be sent off to some deserving person.  And by deserving, I mean someone who's willing to pay me for it.  Because, yes, I could do the selfless thing and donate it to Locks of Love . . . but I thought, since I'm on a budget, that I'd try to use it to pay off the barber's fee instead.  If no one buys my 'Strong and Healthy!  My Loss Is Your Gain!' ponytail, then I'll happily donate it.

The site I'm using to try to sell the ponytail warned that I would get a lot of spammers and scammers.  They recommended setting up a temporary e-mail address to use only as long as you had your product listed.  The testimonials from past sellers concurred, complaining that they got loads and loads of scams for every one genuine offer they received.  The testimonials also alluded to the site being frequented mostly by people with hair fetishes, who will want to know a lot of (possibly uncomfortable) personal information, see extra pictures of the hair, and request videos of the hair being cut.

All of which sort of freaked me out, but I decided not to judge and turn the process into sort of a fun game.  I wanted to see what sort of scam e-mails I'd get and what the fetish ones would say.  So I created a fake e-mail address, uploaded pictures of my hair, and sat back to wait for the e-mails to flood in.

In nearly a week, all I've had is one e-mail asking if I'd take $25 less than I'd posted the hair for (and I'd only posted it 2 hours ago), one scam from a 'single father with two daughters' who asked if I'd take a personal 'cheque', and one short line from a guy named Rick who said my shorter hair 'looked hot'.  I told the first e-mailer I might contact them to negotiate later if my hair still hadn't sold.  I forwarded the second, scam e-mail on to the website administrators.  And I saved Rick's e-mail because it made me feel good.  I made sure to tell Bee all about it ("See?  Rick likes my hair short!")

I've had no bites in days.  Alas and alack, this experience has been a little bit of a downer on my ego.  What does it say about you when even scammers won't take the time to write?  Is my hair truly that nasty, and do I not sound interesting enough to try to bamboozle out of some money?

On the bright side, Bee has now decided that he likes my hair.  He keeps telling me how cute I look.  I knew he'd come around: it is always his way to think he's totally against something until I just go ahead and do it . . . then he decides it was the best possible move.

 By the way, this flexibility is a fantastic thing for our marriage: it gives me the opportunity, over and over, to chant "I told you so!!!"