The Toxic Housewife

practicing for our next beauty pageant Mr. C and I just returned from a trip to my parents’.  It was a gloriously relaxing week, but an intellectually-stimulating one as well.  I came to the following three realizations: 1)    I may be a self-sufficient, perfectly grown thirty-two year-old woman with a child of my own, but I (apparently) will never be too adult to allow my mother to fetch me a snack as I read on the couch. 2)    No matter how long you’ve known someone – say, since birth – there are always parts of yourself you’ll be surprised they don’t know about.  For instance, my mom seemed shocked to discover that I adore malted milk balls.  Her unfamiliarity with this most-basic part of my character was as unsettling to me as if she’d only just learned I was allergic to peanuts or deathly afraid of dogs.  Doesn’t everyone know I love Whoppers?  OK, so maybe I haven’t eaten one in years, but that’s only because I kn...

I love the idea of long hair . . . just mostly on other people.  I have always lusted after men with long hair, which makes it particularly ironic that Bee is slowly balding (but in a sexy way, Honey!).

A former girlfriend congratulated Bee on "getting out of the headlights".  Naturally, I couldn't resist. I celebrated two milestones this last week . . .

The day that I dreaded has come: Mr. C has actually started repeating our less-than-desirable vocabulary outbursts at random, and often awkward, occasions.  Such as public occasions.

So, after my freak-out session earlier this week , I requested and was sort-of begrudgingly granted A Day Off.  Here’s what I did today: