The Toxic Housewife

Thanks to my wonderful Aunt Anonymous and her Burger King gift card, I am currently sitting in my local fine-dining establishment, watching Mr. C and his friend ( Stripper Mom’s son ) pretend to be monkeys while they climb around the play structure.  I think I’m becoming one of those parents Burger King must hate: bring two loud five-year-olds, buy less than $5, and spend two hours trashing their restaurant.

does eating a big bowl of green pesto satisfy today's requirements? So, as he blearily blinked himself awake this morning at 30 minutes before leave-for-school-time, Mr. C calmly asked, "Is it Saint Patrick's Day?" It has been at least 20 years since I've put any thought into this particular holiday, so I was a little unprepared.  I actually had to go get our calendar to discover that today was, indeed, March 17th.

Amy + Doug 4EVR In case you didn’t guess it, my super-sophisticated, I’m-an-adult-now Girl’s Trip last week was to Disneyland.   I won’t make excuses for it, even though the comedian Jim Gaffigan calls childless adults at Disneyland wierdos that even Batman-costumed nerds at ComicCon pity.